Meet Carmen

Carmen Asafenaster

Voters! Carmen Asafenaster here. Mom, community leader, tireless defender of justice! You all know me from my frequent and excruciatingly detailed Letters to the Editor of the local paper. For some years I’ve kept you apprised of the antics of the idiots on the City Council. Now, I’m ready to become one of them.

I’m a life-long resident of Knock Wood, married my high school sweetheart, Ralph Asafenaster, whose photo you’ve seen on real estate signs all over town. We raised four wonderful kids and a pear orchard, while I simultaneously founded the highly successful Asafenaster Roastery and built it into the success it is today, serving fine coffees from around the world and Parisian-class pastries prepared by our chef, Isla Domingue.

Now, more than ever, our town is at a crossroads. I refer of course to the intersection of Main Street and County Road 19, the heart of our languishing commercial district. Since the shutdown of the Rotofazure Kazoo Works two years ago, our local economy has been in a steep decline, and the current City Council has done less than nothing to make matters better.

As the owner of a successful business, I know what our local business owners need to thrive in today’s environment of megacorporations, remote work, killer robot dogs, and so on.

I have a plan!